Hang on to your Love (letters from ’87)

9pm, Friday Night, Romulus, Michigan.

Last night was a whole VIBE, a true MOOD, a whole interactive VISION Board journey + experience – all brought about by finally taking some time to help Mom + Pops with a chore they’d been complaining about for a while.

What I found was a whole time capsule from my parents 20-somethings/early 30’s – right where I am now. The time range was probably ’84 to ’89-ish. Somehow I’d never seen any of these particular items before, and it makes sense why. It certainly isn’t kid stuff – handwritten letters + postcards from friends abroad, love notes to each other, a whole suite of equipment from Dad’s professional photographers days, “original selfies” from the first wave of self-timers, old school radios, 8-tracks, and vinyls… everything!

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The centerpiece of our basement is a retro-style bar area, a space I’ve seen transform from an actual bar + vinyl record lounge, to a kid’s play room table, to the largely storage space it is now. I guess the transitions of our family have now rendered the space obsolete, and a while ago there was some kind of pipe leak or something in a deep corner of it. I told my parents I’d help sort out the salvaged things after the incident, and yesterday I finally had the time and will. And, wow! What a dope adventure.

I spent at least a few hours lost down there, taking in this content like a movie. I felt like Issa Rae’s character in The Photograph trailer (OMG. I cannot waiittt for this movie!) I’ve always known – and loved – the intricacies of their story, and it wasn’t the first time I had come across similar items. But, to find these items all together at this particular time in my life… it was lovely. In addition to the beautiful things, there were everyday objects – a badge from an early job. A past due bill notice. A letter from Mom’s friend detailing an argument they’d had. I loved it all.

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In the space between these items, a story I’ve always known became tactile. It was also an exercise in being conscious about what artifacts, physical or digital, I’m leaving for my kids (God willing). I’ve always cherished who my parents were as individuals before me and the sibs came along, and even moreso as a young adult. More than anything, their courage, struggles and adventures have empowered me. I love that my parents could come to this country, work full-time through school, and have all these wonderful experiences together. For better, or for worse, but always together.

Later when the two of them got back, we went through some of the albums together. It was so fun! Both of them made a point of telling me who was in the pic, “that’s your Mom”, “that’s your Dad” – like I can’t clearly tell! lol! They’re proud of who they were then. Mom shared a rundown of what their social ecosystem was like, a whole host of young fly diverse people and their gatherings and excursions. Dad gave me tutorial on his film cameras which was also amazing.

Photography has always been my favorite artistic medium, and that’s definitely because of Dad. Growing up there were always tons of books on the subject and the latest cameras were always around the house. Whenever I’d take pictures, I’d always hear from Dad on how to get the best light, focusing on subjects, etc. Up until a few years ago I would buy a point + shoot every year, but I slowed down because, smartphones. Still, my affinity for film portraiture has grown a lot in recent years, and I’ve been feeling like I just really admire the raw, technical, hands-on nature of it all. Could it be time to try it out myself? We shall see. I like the idea of using it for keepsake style photos, moments I want to have prints of. Maybe this is the opportunity!

Other than the cameras, my favorite discovery? Definitely my mom’s super artsy, elegant semi-nudes! LOL. I stan a good artistic figure photo!! While the ones I found yesterday were more silhouettes than anything, I’m so glad to finally have some kind of proof that Mom was indeed a hot girl!! Because if you know my mom, you KNOW she loves to ACT! Like gwirl, I know you can’t be all innocent. 1st, you’re a Scorpio and 2nd, you married crazy-ass Dad! Anyway, I look forward to casually bringing these up sometime to deepen our relationship as women, LOL.

It was so fun, and definitely a great bonding moment with the old folks. But also with myself, and the ideas I have on family, legacy building, love, partnership. Some kind of story is being written right now, and I’m a little more inspired to make it as dope as possible.